It’s the second day of Jeffrey Slayter’s last but one Gateway Event. It’s an uplifting personal and business growth event, and I fall down a massive, self-created, ‘I’m a failure’ chasm. I have to go and weep in the ladies!
I was crewing at the event because I like Jeffrey. He is very intuitive, very honest and very out there. He doesn’t make holes, yet I dug one and fell in.
Why? Comparisonitus. I compared myself, twice, in quick succession. Firstly to a woman who runs Mastermind Groups. The two women who told me about her, said she was a brilliant leader and had done so much with them in just four weeks, it was amazing. And, knowing nothing about her, I compared myself and came up wanting.
A few minutes later I compared myself to a young woman (who lives in a tent) who is at last finding success. She joyfully told me about the fifteen coaching clients she is doing transformational, intuitive, clearing work with. Already deep in Comparison City I think, “Oh I’m just an old (literally), boring coach who doesn’t have many clients and therefore mustn’t be good.” And there I was, IN THE HOLE, weeping in the toilets like a teenager.
I knew that the very next day I was starting one of two new Mastermind Groups. Both absolute gems, full of wonderful, unique, talented, intelligent, visionaries, all with big plans and challenges. I knew when I was shedding tears that I offer something really powerful and useful. My hard work is paying off. I am doing really well in the big picture. So…..what happened?
By chance, I listened to Simon Sinek the next day offering the distinction between Finite players and Infinite players. The finite player is in competition with everyone. They want to outdo them. They live in a place of reaction. Finite players play to beat the people around them.
Infinite players play to be better than themselves. As an infinite player I will wake up every day and ask, “How can I be a better mastermind facilitator or coach today, than I was yesterday? How can I run a mastermind group this week, that is better than the one I ran last week?” Being an infinite player is about becoming better than myself. I become my only competition.
So, what did happen?
I became a finite player.
I love this distinction. It helps me choose to be an infinite player. Next time I head to the toilet to weep, I choose to instead remember I am an Infinite player, therefore only in competition with myself.